Return of the Medicore Ball Hockey player

Long time no blog. Yes indeedy.

So tonight was my teams second playoff game. I should frame this correctly I guess. This season, our team stunk. Absolutely stunk. We went 1-11-2 on the season. Yes, we only won one game. As it turns out, it was the last game of the season. Our goals for/against differential was a whopping -51. Thankfully, having paid money to play in the league we got a couple of playoff games. Think faint hope clause for nasty prison inmates. So anyways, we finally nab a near full roster for our first game against the second worst team in our division the Karachi Vice. (really, that's the other teams name). If it was a college bowl game it'd be the toilet bowl game.

So hapless as we were off we went to the playoffs to play the Vice. Apparently, at some point we were reborn that fine superbowl Sunday as we whomped them 6-0. I personally had one of my best games, 1 assist, plus 3 on the game and two of my other passes, while not pretty resulted in shots going off the post. Really, for me that was a stellar game. I only spent all superbowl Sunday pacing back and forth, stretching and talking about the ball hockey game. No biggy.

To paraphrase a quote I read “Some say ball hockey is a matter of life and death. I think it’s much more important than that.”

So the next game was against the third best team The Urban Cowboys. Having acquired a bit of a swagger from winning a playoff game we are pumped. The other team has this brother combination, tall, lanky, fast and skilled that tends to eat up opposing defenses. The two times we played them we lost 9-1 and 8-0. I was at the 9-1 game and was a lovely -5 or so on the night. I remembered #14 and was looking forward to meeting him once again. Sherlock Homes had his Dr. Moriarty. I have #14. How little do they know that I bought 10 pound weights for each ankle and have been wearing them every minute I’m at home and when walking the parents dog that I’m taking care of. I feel faster at least. So pre game, when going onto the “ice” one of the other team asks us if we are on the juice (in reference to our 6-0 win last game). I grin and say “no, just crystal meth. Steroids are bad for you”.

An old “friend” who punched me once on the other team starts off against me, whacks me in the corner but I merely shove him out of the way and then nail his defenseman and then follow the ball back to the corner and nail him. I dig the ball away and then he stomps on my toe. Damn man. I was looking at doing that to someone. Was saving that gem. Clearly I need to get more creative.

#14, against me a lot. I was on him like white on rice in the middle of a snowstorm. I was practically his backpack. He did squat all night long against me. Fuck did I have to hustle to keep up to him though. He’s probably 20ish, 6’5 190 pds ultra fast, I’m 29, 6’2 probably around 235 and a bit more, uh, plodding. He did complain about his ankles taking a beating to me. I personally was working over his back with my stick whenever I got the chance. Go figure. At one of our defensive scrambles in the night I was kinda out of position (weird rebound) so I dove, to block the shot. It was a hard shot, and whack, about 3/8 of an inch away from my eye. Just off the bottom of the helmet. You know in a war movie when the character has a loud explosion and things go really muted and really slowly for that 1 or 2 seconds. That’s what happened to me (concussion?) even though it didn’t hit my head directly. When the sound came back it was like the thought processed hey that hit me, then where’s the ball, then oh I feel it under my leg. The other players wanted to dig it out but they stopped, I think I was looking kinda confused. My bench howled “was to use your head big guy”. I went and sat down and about 1 minute later I was fully back in the game. For the record, we lost 5-2 to the Cowboys, but then got a dose of what a motivated Knights team can do, and for sure they were shocked.

It would appear that we are done till summer season which is good news as I stubbed my toe and the nail got partially peeled back. I’m on injured reserve for AT LEAST 6 months now. Har har.

Quick stuff:
- David Emerson, when I first read his profile didn’t seem like a Liberal to me. Thought he’d be a better Conservative.
- Strange, the “not liberal” party gets elected and the first thing they do (literally) is recruit an MP. When it was Belinda going she was all sorts of nasty stuff and names. Now it’s pragmatic. Look, fellas, either it’s ok or it’s not. I would suggest if you want to differentiate yourselves from the red machine you might try and not do the same things as them.
- David Emerson is probably a dead duck for his voters. Save some money Dave, it’s another minority.
- Well, then again maybe not. Maybe they’ll just elect him as a whatever and he can defect to cabinet regardless of who’s in power
- The most important question in this Janet Gretzky betting thing isn’t being asked…..”was she making any money at it?”
- Selling cars continues. No further comment at this time.
- Steelers were definitely a team on a mission during the non superbowl playoff games. The first half of the superbowl they looked lost and were lucky to come out in good shape.
- I’m one of the people that listens to CBC radio 2 in the AM and actually enjoys it. The DJ is quite entertaining. Beats listening to people call in on the rock stations for whatever stupid thing.
- I haven’t been at the track at all lately. No I’m not happy about that.
- How manly am I walking my parents standard sized poodle around. Nice dog, but damn people look at you funny. I’m going to rent a great dane, giraffe cougar combo and walk around with that to get some respect back.
- I have an urge to buy some cheap, smallish car for the summer. VW golf or Honda civic. Gotta love that 5000 and under trader.
- My cats breath smells like cat food.